Review: McDonald’s, Big ‘n Tasty




I may have found the perfect hamburger.

After hearing so many tweets from 5chw4r7z about how amazing and wonderful McDonald’s Big and Tasty is (usually three times a week, Bob is nothing if not a devotee), how perfect a hamburger it is, how nothing (not Terry’s Turf Club, not Gordo’s, not Zip’s) can compare, I decided to try it.  It’s essentially built to compare with the Burger King Whopper: 1/4 pound of hamburger (which McDonald’s now advertises to be 100% beef!  What was it before?), a sesame seed bun, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, ketchup, chopped (fresh!) onions, two pickle slices, and grill seasoning.

It is a gift from God.

Actually, no, it’s a gift from Chuck Norris.

Because the only reason God rested on the seventh day was because Chuck Norris let him.


Delicious, processed patty.  Pale, limp tomato.  A swath of mayonnaise and ketchup.  A couple of limp pickle slices.  A LOT of pepper.

Obviously, the perfect burger.  I’m not entirely sure why I would pay more than $2.86 for a burger, now that I know about the Big ‘n Tasty.  You wonder what my favorite burger in Cincinnati is?  Wonder no more!

Look at its beautiful packaging.
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Look at its perfectly symmetrical bun, studded with beautiful sesame seeds.

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Look at the tomato!

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Look at the toppings, just aching to escape the bun!

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Chuck Norris approves (look, he’s about to take a bite of one now!).

(I mean, after all, Chuck Norris was the original Big ‘n Tasty.  Yeah, I went there.)

Look no further: Like the guy who ate the Big Macs daily from Super Size Me, I may have to join the ranks of McDonald’s worshippers.  Jean-Robert, make a burger that can compare with this!

(Check the date, folks. And much love to Bob, the inspiration for this post. 🙂 )

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